Funny Jokes for all Occasions edition by Martin P Kerrigan Humor Entertainment eBooks
Download As PDF : Funny Jokes for all Occasions edition by Martin P Kerrigan Humor Entertainment eBooks 
"I'd rather be a glow worm.
"A glow worm's never glum.
"it's hard to be down-hearted,
"When the sun shines out your bum."
Anonymous.
With these words of wisdom, the reader of Jokes for all Occasions begins an hilarious, odd, strange thinking journey through a unique collection of hundreds of jokes collected from many people and places and life experiences. Sort of how Douglas Adams looked at the universe.
Most importantly, you will learn a rhyme which GENUINELY and CORRECTLY rhymes "PURPLE"!!
Absolutely true! It is genius!!!
Everybody knows that the essence of a joke is in the timing.
A few, deft words at exactly the right moment, can bring the house down with gales of laughter.
A few, ill-timed words at exactly the wrong moment, can make you wish to crawl into a hole and wither away. Actually, this happened to the author many years ago.
A good friend of ours had lost her mother a week previously and we had all attended the funeral. The next week, to take her mind off her loss, we had taken her out to dinner. Arriving home at her place very late, Jane still courteously asked us in for coffee.
Thoughtful and stupid as ever, I quickly said to Jane, "Won't your mummy and daddy mind?"
To which Jane replied with a straight face, "My mum died last week."
Oh.
Yet, for all that stupidity, a well-timed joke is a joy to the world. Who can ever forget the brilliant set-up by the creators of American Pie with the nerdy Alyson Hannigan constantly saying, "This one time...at band camp."
Still makes you smile, doesn't it.
Jokes can be used with affection, with mischief and with malice. The same few words in different circumstances can offer laughter or start a fight.
The jokes in Jokes for all Occasions are spread across a number of broad categories
Miscellaneous (Who ARE these people?)
Men and Women and Other Aliens
Idiots
Clever (I use the term loosely.)
Blonde Jokes (Just a few variations on a theme)
Disturbing (Some people are just WIERD!)
Truth in a Joke
Ironic - Like rain on your wedding day.
Huh? (This was originally named wtf? but I thought better of it.
Chuck Norris - The Greatest Human Being - Ever.
Longer Jokes
Basically clean. Rated at worst PG. These jokes will bring laughter to your lips and air to your lungs.
Air to your lungs is always a good thing.
As the wonderful Spike Milligan has inscribed on his gravestone
"I told you I was sick!"
Funny Jokes for all Occasions edition by Martin P Kerrigan Humor Entertainment eBooks
I have always been drawn to joke books, ever since I was a little kid over half a century ago. Most have been disappointing. THIS one was original, funny, clean, and seriously well worth reading. I honestly laughed out loud at a bunch of these! I rarely laugh out loud at anything in a joke or riddle book, only occasionally laugh out loud at jokes I see in a certain magazine whose name I won't say (initials are R.D.), and occasionally laugh at a joke I hear, although most of those are not suitable for publication and really aren't funny... they're the kind you laugh at in hopes the teller will stop with that one and not tell another.But I digress. I laughed out loud at a lot of the jokes in this book... definitely a much higher percentage than in any other joke book I've ever read. When I read them to my wife, I think she only laughed at one of them. It has long been known that men and women are wired differently when it comes to humor (consider "The Three Stooges" for example; most women just don't 'get' them, while most guys will blow beer out their noses laughing so hard, even after seeing the same episode 100 times). This book is just further proof of that difference between the genders.
I highly recommend this book for all guys! I also recommend it for any women who do not like what I said about gender differences, and want to prove me wrong. I hope you DO prove me wrong, and laugh out loud at these jokes just like I did! If you don't, you can always gift the book to a male friend of yours; he'll appreciate it!
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Funny Jokes for all Occasions edition by Martin P Kerrigan Humor Entertainment eBooks Reviews
There were one or two mildly amusing jokes in this book, and a couple of the pictures were creative. Not worth the time, definitely not worth money.
Man, I'm so glad this book was FREE. I really tried hard to find the humor and like this book based on the six raving reviews on here. I found myself rolling my eyes so much I could hear my grandmas voice in my head telling me to stop or my eyes would stay that way.
The jokes were dull, dumb, and utterly boring. If you're into library laughter, jump right in and indulge. If you're looking for dirty bar jokes that are REALLY funny, stay far away from this book.
This book was "pun-nee". (Pun, intended.) It wasn't witty, smart, or quick. It was staler than a bag of fritos left open for a month on a humid day in Hawaii nei.
I'm sorry. I guess it's the man brain in me that prefers disgusting, sick, dirty jokes. I really tried to like it, I swear. But the irking-ness of each page made it harder for me to click the next page button on my kindle. I just couldn't bear it.
interesting and funny
Good Book for all ages. Hilarious made me crack up many a time. Best book ever. I think you should get this.
Usually when I pick up a joke book I recognize most of the jokes from other sources. Not so with this book! Many great one-liners and most were new to me. A short book but packed with good stuff!
This was a quick impulse buy. I am always looking for ways to alleviate the day to day tensions that go with my job. It is good even to print off joke in a quickly and put them in my staff break room when they come off the floors and I know its been hectic for them. Really helps to have a good laugh ready on these occasions.
Definitely worth checking out this book to hear these jokes! They are organized well so that you can use them yourself if you want also. Every once and awhile you're in a group of friends and everyone is telling jokes (mostly when you get bored p). But these jokes will leave you with an arsenal of laughs to have in your back pocket at all times.
I have always been drawn to joke books, ever since I was a little kid over half a century ago. Most have been disappointing. THIS one was original, funny, clean, and seriously well worth reading. I honestly laughed out loud at a bunch of these! I rarely laugh out loud at anything in a joke or riddle book, only occasionally laugh out loud at jokes I see in a certain magazine whose name I won't say (initials are R.D.), and occasionally laugh at a joke I hear, although most of those are not suitable for publication and really aren't funny... they're the kind you laugh at in hopes the teller will stop with that one and not tell another.
But I digress. I laughed out loud at a lot of the jokes in this book... definitely a much higher percentage than in any other joke book I've ever read. When I read them to my wife, I think she only laughed at one of them. It has long been known that men and women are wired differently when it comes to humor (consider "The Three Stooges" for example; most women just don't 'get' them, while most guys will blow beer out their noses laughing so hard, even after seeing the same episode 100 times). This book is just further proof of that difference between the genders.
I highly recommend this book for all guys! I also recommend it for any women who do not like what I said about gender differences, and want to prove me wrong. I hope you DO prove me wrong, and laugh out loud at these jokes just like I did! If you don't, you can always gift the book to a male friend of yours; he'll appreciate it!
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